Love After Love
The time will come
When, with elation
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other's welcome,
And say, sit here, Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you
All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
- Derek Walcott
I have been walking towards
your imaginary light
for some time now ...
"but if those thoughts didn't keep you busy, what would you do with all your spare time?"
"I'd practice being lonely"
in between all my uncertainties,
I'm almost sure about one thing
but I'm going back and forth between
a plan for my body and a plan for my soul
I'm beginning to lose sense of what's right
and starting to feel like it's wrong...
all wrong...
but how can a path so tempting be the same
path that would lead me to your mountain
of destruction and chaos
of beauty and delight
in between all my uncertainties,
I'm almost sure it feels ok with you...
- MF
"if she's ever anxious,
just grab her,
and hug her,
really fucking tight"
baby we've got the world to see,
and with eyes in love,
oh how the world will shine for us...
I was always an unusual girl.
My mother told me I had a chameleon soul,
no moral compass pointing due north,
no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness
that was as wide and as wavering as the ocean...
And if I said I didn't plan for it to turn out this way
I'd be lying...
Because I was born to be the other woman.
Who belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything,
with a fire for every experience
and an obsession for freedom
that terrified me to the point that
I couldn't even talk about it,
and pushed me to a nomadic point
of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.
If I’m forgetting our memories I know you’re forgetting me; and that brings us further and brings ice closer. So please don’t freeze, let me know you let me remember the days where you’d talk about the ways of learning and friendship and although you never came on those trips … I know you wanted to …So who’s to blame in a time where everyone’s at fault but everyone’s okay with the result. Don’t freeze. Let me remember us as what we were and what we would become should our love not have come undone. Thicker than water is blood and we’ve been through the days of flood. Guilty tears. All the growing fears I’ve developed because of our loss and knowing our paths may never again cross. So don’t freeze. Stay close come home I have many stories to tell and questions to ask and together I want to take off your mask. I wait for the day you’ll run away you’re the beauty of my heart come back and again we’ll start.
I love you. - mf
will you still love me?
