"There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them." Until you finally do. And it hits you like a ton of bricks. It’s okay to misjudge a friend and feel fooled after. Learn to forgive yourself, appreciate yourself for coming to your senses, and most importantly – forgive them too. You can only go on so long coming up with excuses for someone else’s behavior, until it comes to a point where you’ve become too stubborn to admit your own poor judgment in someone. Or maybe it’s the false hope that there is a better person, deep down, stuck within them. Hidden behind their selfishness, pain and insecurity. You’re trying so hard to pull out a better version of them that you’re willing to feel their pain, convincing yourself that you’re meant to fix them. You forget who you are in the midst of protecting and nurturing another damaged person. You blame yourself for not being able to help them, and ultimately “cure” them. During this whole state of great disturbance and uncertainty (that we've caused all by ourselves), we lose touch with where true happiness lies. We're so driven by this project, and we are determined to see happiness there waiting for us when we finally "cure" this other person. When the reality of it is, there is no such thing as a finish line, there will be nothing waiting for us on this path. Nothing but destruction, disappointment and a big sign that you'll soon run into that looks something like DEAD END.
So, why do we do this?
Maybe it’s the satisfaction of possibly causing positive change, or the subconscious feeling of control. Maybe it’s the false love we feel when we’re busy betting on potential. Are we seeking to validate these people - or even seeking validation from them? Either way, it’s harming us more than anyone. Everyone else will be who they are, with or without you and every lesson you claim to bring along. Everyone has their own schedule, their own destiny. As do we. We are constantly looking outwards, trying to help heal the world and change the people in it. When will we learn to look within ourselves, and believe in our own ability? Before you try and make anyone else’s world a better place, you need to surf your inner waves, and master your own potential. Take care of your senses, and watch how everything else will take care of itself.
Let it go. Your wings are only strong enough to carry yourself. So look for the people who can fly beside you, not beneath you.
- MF
